My next fart may summon a ghost

Sensational and terrifying rumours of backstage bum action involving a well-known TV medium or psychic and a woman who knows someone with the letter J in their name are currently haunting the TV Quick offices. Or it could be What's On TV, whatever, it's a listings mag that costs less than a pound.

The woman who can only be legally identified as my love claims that a well known TV Psychic or fraud told her that someone recently passed over to the other side wanted to get in touch with her to say thank you for the flowers and that he had something to do with hospitals within his lifetime. He also, alleges the woman, advised her to go with the Medium to a Travelodge in Bolton West and let him bum her.

"It's silly of my I know," says My love, "I don't even known anyone with the letter J in their name who would want me to let [ name removed for legal reasons ] take me up the wrong'un"

Since the incident, the woman has become increasingly alarmed at the idea that the Psychic may have accidently opened the back door to Hell during the depraved sex act. Her first inkling that all wasn't Christian downstairs came on the drive home.

"I left pretty quickly after the act because he said a ghost had just rung him up in his head and he really needed to take the call. I didn't even have time to find my knickers so I had to drive the 200 mile journey in just my skirt. After about an hour, I felt strange as if somethin was moving in my starfish so I pull into a motorway service station to get some snacks and have



TV Medium gave me one in the wrong'un	My next fart may summon a ghost!	advertisement
Sensational and terrifying rumours of backstage bum action involving a well-known TV medium or psychic and a woman who knows someone with the letter J in their name are currently haunting the TV Quick offices. Or it could be What's On TV, whatever, it's a listings mag that costs less than a pound. The woman who can only be legally identified as my love claims that a well known TV Psychic or fraud told her that someone recently passed over to the other side wanted to get in touch with her to say thank you for the flowers and that he had something to do with hospitals within his lifetime. He also, alleges the woman, advised her to go with the Medium to a Travelodge in Bolton West and let him bum her. "It's silly of my I know," says My love, "I don't even known anyone with the letter J in their name who would want me to let [ name removed for legal reasons ] take me up the wrong'un" Since the incident, the woman has become increasingly alarmed at the idea that the Psychic may have accidently opened the back door to Hell during the depraved sex act. Her first inkling that all wasn't Christian downstairs came on the drive home. "I left pretty quickly after the act because he said a ghost had just rung him up in his head and he really needed to take the call. I didn't even have time to find my knickers so I had to drive the 200 mile journey in just my skirt. After about an hour, I felt strange as if somethin was moving in my starfish so I pull into a motorway service station to get some snacks and have	Artist's impression. Fart posed by professional ghost a wee. Nothing in my life previously could prepare me for what I saw when I got back to the car - sitting on the drivers seat was a tiny ghost. It was white and shiny with a brownish hue, almost beautiful you may say. But I didn't hang around to say anything! It may have only been an inch big but I dropped my packet of Quavers and jumbo sausage roll and fucking legged it! I'm now terrified my next fart will summon a ghost!

TV Medium gave me one in the wrong'un